I have had several of these experiences in the past few years, loud music, crazy lights, lots of people jumping and jirating and tons of guys on the prowl. Mix in some Jagger bombs and well thats a good recipe for some of the worst pick ups that will ever be attempted. For any girl who has ever been bombarded by a sweaty guy with the worst case of slurring this ones for you.
Ok guys here are some ways to keep a gentlemen status while at the clubs. Let me remind you I am no expert and only speak from experience. And even though I don't believe in picking up at a club, (just seems silly with all the loud music and low lighting) I have to admit that I know a few happy couples that have had their first meeting in one of these venues.
Rule 1, Lets start simple: Always bring gum, and ALWAYS wear deodorant! You might not think you smell but 4 David Guetta songs later you will even if you think you dont. So go buy a travel size and put it in your jacket pocket. Seriously we bring tons of freshening up tools in our purses that we are made to hold onto ALL night, I don't think a pack of gum and a trial size of deodorant will be a problem. And no, putting on a half bottle of D&G does not count.
Rule 2: How about taking the time to introduce yourself? You don't have to tell us your life story, we probably wouldn't be able to hear it even if we wanted to. But eyeing us all night from the bar is just creepy and we can't read minds. A simple hello! My name is _________ , would suffice.
Rule 3, Kind of goes with Rule 2: Don't be lazy, don't "hey" nod us from your booth or while we walk buy, have you any manners? I know its loud but put some effort into it I know I did when it took me 1hour 1/2 to get ready while you and your friends were probably eating pizza and pre-drinking in your joggers. Come find us say hello.
Rule 4, Goes with Rule 2 & 3: DON"T under any circumstance or situation (unless you are trying to save us from a burning building or getting hit by a car) grab a gril by the wrist, or arm and try and drag her to you. I get that you might have had 1 too many and that girls dress might be 2 inches too short, but lets face it that technique will only label you as a creepy rapist. Again go back to Rule 2 & 3, be nice.
Rule 5: This Rule is tricky and doesn't really apply to all girls, and girls this rule can certainly apply to you. Buying a girl/guy a drink. This can become incredibly expensive and I can admit that half of the girls in the club will probably take you up on the offer and then bounce. I say if the girl seems like shes in a rush she's probably gonna bounce afterwards, ask her to dance instead of buying her a drink. And Ladies I'm sorry but it's about time we start serving up drinks to our boys! Surprise that guy you've been dancing with, with a humble gesture. Don't go crazy and get him a glass of that 30 year old scotch on the shelf, (not even sure clubs have that) but buying him a drink will let him know you're not a flake.
Rule 6 Most Important: So we've all seen dirty dancing, footloose and grease, and boys if you are trying to deny this just be honest with yourself, John Travolta has got some moves. Back in those days guys would ASK a girl to dance. She would say yes and they would head to the floor and boogie down. Nowadays when a girls favorite song comes on and she wants to go dance with her friends she gets dry humped from behind without even a hi, hello or can I dance with you? Come on guys where is your common sense? Yes there are those girls who will just grind it out with everyone, but do you really think that's what we're all there for? Please do not grind your crotch onto my ass without permission. I don't care if I'm humping the floor or getting carried away to some dirty Rihanna song you must ask for permission to place your male genitals covered by cloth onto my behind!!!! And ladies If a guy is nice enough to ask and you don't feel the need, don't be rude, a simple no thank you is quite enough. Don't go mean girls on the guy and tear him to pieces, cause at least he asked.
Rule 7, This is for Everyone Ladies Included: Dress the part. Gals if you show up in a dress that maybe is really a skirt, or maybe the cup size of your top is one size too small you have to expect a certain kind of attention. I am not saying it excuses it but if you don't like it change up your wardrobe. And Dudes if you really want us to notice you take some time to do your hair and put on some nice clothes, you don't need to be in a three piece suit (although that always looks impressive) but don't look like you just came from goodlife.
Last but not least: If you really are trying to keep your gentleman status, do yourself and your best bud who is DD a favor, know your limit. We all know we go to clubs to have fun and go crazy. Sometimes you need a good night out, but there is a difference between a "good" night and a "sloppy hot mess" night. Ladies this goes for you too, there is nothing more unattractive then someone being dragged out of the club with puke in their hair and heels in your hand. And boys slurring your word and burping up whatever you had for dinner is not attractive one bit! I would hate to know you had time to eat before going out and I didn't.
Like I said I am no expert but I have had my share of club evenings. Just some things I've noticed and thought I'd share. Happy Hunting out there!
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